Veeery messy at the moment, crocheting and doodling…
Life
So many ideas, so little time
I’m currently crocheting (baby blanket for my new nephew – love how that rhymes) and drawing cards for a fundraiser event, and painting canvases for the same fundraiser event and two hours ago I pelted out two pages of words for Eros, and introduced a completely new character who I have no clue who is – except that she claims to be Eros’ wife…
And I want to write more on Eros and find out what part she is playing in the whole story.
I also want a full time job. And at the same time I don’t.
I want to be able to do what I do for a living. But that requires more work, less *procrastinating!* *ahem…*
I’ve been thinking of starting a business, an art business, and go to events and parties and such and paint with kids – that would be fun, wouldn’t it? But I don’t know if it is sustainable. (and the biggest problem seems to be coming up with a name >.<)
I’m also thinking of renaming this blog to “a mad artist’s blog” because it’s not only about writing… or craftists or a mad idea’s blog… I actually like the sound of that 🙂
I would also want to live outside the city, somewhere remote, with a plot of land, vegetables, chicken and our own house… then again, I also want to be an alien, so these *wants* are more fancies than wants. (I want to be like Dr Who, how amazing wouldn’t that be? 😀 )
I’ve started with water colours (aquarell colours – what you wanna call ’em).
Little slow at the moment, but hopefully something will come of it. I also want to draw anime (watched Appleseed anime movie from 2004 – I quite like anime movies especially if they’re science fiction.)
I’m also on Pinterest in case you didn’t know. (secretly pinterest-addict)
2012 in review
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
The new Boeing 787 Dreamliner can carry about 250 passengers. This blog was viewed about 1,200 times in 2012. If it were a Dreamliner, it would take about 5 trips to carry that many people.
Click here to see the complete report.
If you’re remotely interested. I know lately I’ve fallen behind, but as I wrote, I’m writing on other things, and I’ve got a ban on internet before noon so I get a lot of stuff done in the morning (I just wish my evenings would be as productive, but one cannot have everything I guess)
Here’s to you, dear reader, who have read my blog. Thank you for 2012!
The reason I’m so absent
The writing has been temporarily put on the shelf, mostly due to this little fellow:
I’ll hopefully get back to writing when life is a little less chaotic and I’ve managed to sleep more than three hours… 🙂
Meanwhile: Keep on writing! 🙂
I’m not very organised when it comes to writing
I’ll have to admit that. Even with work (I should rather write “work”) not being much of a problem I’ve sort of fallen off the writing wagon. I just don’t write, even though i sort of want to. I blame I’m too tired, I’ll do it tomorrow, the next day, next week and so on… with the result of 0, zero, nil, zip, zilch, nada words written at all. It kind of bugs me.
Because I WANT to write. I really WANT to, but obviously not wanting it enough. How would I otherwise just not do it?
I was going to write and finish Getting Even in June, I have barely finished the first chapter (which will probably be scrapped later on any ways) I have started a short novella for a competition (in Swedish) and I have had a lot of thoughts about it, about the plot, the main character, the other characters and what should happen to them. (The theme is Summer and Something Scary) I’m aiming for a sci-fi novella. To be honest I have never written anything sci-fi from the beginning to the end. It always ends before it starts in the middle whatever I write in the sci-fi genre. So this time I’m trying to really really finish it (with a beginning, middle and end).
Something is telling me though that I’m not trying hard enough.
Do or do not. There is no try…
Here be… Smaug?
So, I got the Black dragon from Games Workshop and have been debating with myself if I really want it black, or maybe white? Or blue? Green would be cool too, and red, and fiery orange blazing… which resulted in a half painted figure without wings.
I thought I had a picture of the half-painting on my computer, but obviously not, so here’s an unpainted pic. I’m having trouble with the wings. If I glue them on it’s gonna be hell to move the dragon as that would require a cube of padding. As it is now it can go in the flat box it came in…
The writing is going… very slow, but quite steady. I’ve started planning more and currently I’m working on Getting Even because it’s CampNaNo! 🙂 As I said, it’s going slow, but I’ve got a map and a compass, so I know where I’m going (for once)
I like surprises and gifts and to share stuff with friends, so here’s another thing I want to share with you:
Brandon Sanderson 2012 Creative Writing Class | Write About Dragons.
Free Kindle Books and Tips
While I’m doing other stuff and worry about other things and work… well… like a lazy person, I thought I’d just let you know that I have not abandoned this blog. And I haven’t died. My life just moves more in the real world right now rather than in the virtual. A lot of things going on at the moment and the Olympics is closing in, and the moving date in the same week.
Don’t worry, I’ll be back… eventually… in two months or three or… so…
Not very reassuring, but I promise, I’ll be back (said with Arnold Schwarzenegger (yeah, I spelled that right) accent) Meanwhile, here’s a link to keep you going. Who doesn’t like free stuff eh?
And here’s a picture from Paris (yes, I’ve had time to go there too, last week.
Writing and Rambling
Okay, I’ve been somewhat swamped with work and yet not. I still haven’t taken the time to do any blogging. Note my choice of words, “taken time”, because you need to take time for writing if you want to be an author. That’s what I’ve learned.
I’ve managed a trip to Manchester and back, attended a wedding, forgot that I had booked holiday and on Wednesday I’m going to Paris! Wohoo. For two days.
I’ve also taken the bull by the horns and started on the synopsis for Climbing the 4th Wall, like, really started. I even went to the British Library, with only a pen and a notepad, to get away from life’s (read: internet’s) all distractions. And got pretty much written down. Now the story doesn’t seem so… whimsy anymore. There is still a few scenes that I’m unsure in which order they should go, and right now they’re written like a loop (1 happens before 2 and 2 happens before 1). Which is… not so good, because they need sorting out, seriously sorting out.
Any more writing I haven’t done… don’t really know what I’ve been up to these past weeks that I haven’t blogged. Too busy looking in my bellybutton I suppose. Rain can do that to you. Yeah, I know it’s London, and I know it’s been April showers, but still, that much rain??? Every single day??? It even rained today, though we started out with serious promising sunshine… *grump grump* Enough with that now. Here’s a nice link for you, as a make up for my absence:
If you don’t feel like clicking that link then maybe try this link about Independent bookshops in London for those that are sitting on a chair or sofa in or close to London (like me 🙂 ) I intend to visit all of them. Foyles and Hatchards I’ve already been to. 2 down 10 more to go. 🙂
I have another even more fantastic link to share with you, but I’ll take that later.
Writing stop
I’ve been so swamped in work that I have been there approximately 10 hours per day. Partly because I’m training a colleague in cash office. To my disappointment she is not as quick as getting it as I was, and that makes me irritated. I have uncovered more of myself during these last four days I’ve been training her than I have ever done in my whole life. For one, I think I’m really smart, and expect other people to be as smart as I am. Then I get really irritated at them when it turns out that they are not, or at least, they are not smart the same way as me. And when I’m irritated I talk very fast, explaining what they need to do or should have done. But what really bothers me is having to repeat, four days in a row, the same instructions.
I’m one of those who write everything down when I’m learning. And instead of asking, “what do I do now?” or guess what to do, I look in my notes. Which are usually numbered, in the order you’re supposed to do the stuff. And then I do. It took me one month of working only Saturdays and Sundays before I was so confident in what I was doing that I left my notes at home. And now I feel like an expert in my office.
So I’m really irritated when my colleague only sporadically writes down when I explain to her what she is supposed to do. I know, people learn in different ways. And I’m irritated because she doesn’t learn in MY way. (My way or the highway)
She is otherwise a really good colleague, don’t get me wrong, we get along really well, and I have no animosity against her. I like her good enough. It’s just… the perfectionist in me is chewing it’s nails, wanting to choke her and tell her to do it MY WAY! Luckily I’m blessed with a whole bucketload of patience (you get that from working with kids from a young age – I guess otherwise I would be quite a… bitch? at work…) so I just take a couple of breaths and repeat my instructions.
I also found out yesterday that my former colleague (who had wanted to get out of the office for a long time – and she finally got her wish fulfilled, that’s why I’m training my other colleague) had taken three months (working in the week) before she was confident enough to be in the office alone.
So, yeah, it’s been quite an eye opening experience to train my colleague. And that has occupied my mind for most part of April (as well as one other thing, but I’ll tell you about it later) so I haven’t had any time to write, or even plan. I’ve been so exhausted every evening when I’ve come home that I’ve almost gone to bed immediately. Hopefully, the next weeks are going to be a bit less occupied. I’m still only employed 32 hours per week (yep, overtime -big time- the two last weeks) and I’m hoping they wont increase them.
Scriptfrenzy isn’t going that well for me. Mostly because I can’t concentrate on One Single Story to write. I want to write them all, in one go, and that makes all the stories very spread out and not like I want them. Concentration problems you can call it. I struggle to pick one story and stick with it. At the first moment the story seems to point downwards I get bored and jump to another one. It’s getting so irritating, because that means that I’ll never finish anything. Everything is left hanging in the air. Anyone have any advice how to stop jumping from story to story? Just write exciting parts? Delete all other stories? Anything?
Stories and my brain
I’ve been thinking. A lot. On a particular story, and I’ve been so deeply in the mindset of this story that I didn’t know it changed how I viewed the world. Then, I picked up another, half finished, half planned story on a totally different subject and my mind clashed. My left brain clashed with my right. They melded together (Vulcan mind meld ftw!) and now I’m left in a state of awe.
Simply awe. At life, at humans, at the planet Earth, at the thing we call brain, at everything that I have around me. And I’m sad. Sad because the second story has such a strong sad ending it permeates through to the beginning, even though I haven’t written those tens of thousands of words in between. Sad, yet hopeful and happy. It is such a confusing feeling that I had to share it with the world. Have you ever had this same double-feeling? for no reason at all? Just because of the thoughts you thought?
It’s almost an enlightened feeling. I think. I don’t know if I’m enlightened or not, or even halfway or anything. But I imagine this could be how it feels like.
I had a similar feeling when I had finished the last Harry Potter book. Like I was the light at the end of the tunnel, and at the same time the darkness in the other end, but it didn’t matter, because I simply was, and was feeling great.
And then, as if life wasn’t strange enough, one of my very best friends, (we’ve been “friends” since we could walk, had a sort of fall out a couple of years ago, but everything is forgiven and forgotten now (at least on my part) she sent me this link on my facebook page and wrote that she thought about me and my values when she read said link. It touched me. Deeply. (and added to this strange sort-of-enlightened feeling)
It’s about happiness, simply. Happiness, and what you don’t need. Well, the article’s heading reads “15 things you should give up to be happy” but I’d prefer to angle it as 15 things you’d do better without to be happy. So what are these 15 things you don’t need then? In my words, you don’t need:
- To always be right
- Control
- Blame
- Self-defeating self-talk
- Limiting beliefs
- Complaining
- Criticizing
- Impress others
- Resist change
- Labels
- Fears
- Excuses
- The past
- Attachments
- Other people’s expectations
Looks familiar? I have a bit of a déjà-vu here… To read the article/blogpost for these 15 things click 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy, where the things are explained more in detail. Highly recommend you read it!
Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls
-Joseph Campbell
tereseh - a mad writer's blog 