Writing stop

I’ve been so swamped in work that I have been there approximately 10 hours per day. Partly because I’m training a colleague in cash office. To my disappointment she is not as quick as getting it as I was, and that makes me irritated. I have uncovered more of myself during these last four days I’ve been training her than I have ever done in my whole life. For one, I think I’m really smart, and expect other people to be as smart as I am. Then I get really irritated at them when it turns out that they are not, or at least, they are not smart the same way as me. And when I’m irritated I talk very fast, explaining what they need to do or should have done. But what really bothers me is having to repeat, four days in a row, the same instructions.

I’m one of those who write everything down when I’m learning. And instead of asking, “what do I do now?” or guess what to do, I look in my notes. Which are usually numbered, in the order you’re supposed to do the stuff. And then I do. It took me one month of working only Saturdays and Sundays before I was so confident in what I was doing that I left my notes at home. And now I feel like an expert in my office.

So I’m really irritated when my colleague only sporadically writes down when I explain to her what she is supposed to do. I know, people learn in different ways. And I’m irritated because she doesn’t learn in MY way. (My way or the highway)

She is otherwise a really good colleague, don’t get me wrong, we get along really well, and I have no animosity against her. I like her good enough. It’s just… the perfectionist in me is chewing it’s nails, wanting to choke her and tell her to do it MY WAY! Luckily I’m blessed with a whole bucketload of patience (you get that from working with kids from a young age – I guess otherwise I would be quite a… bitch? at work…) so I just take a couple of breaths and repeat my instructions.

I also found out yesterday that my former colleague (who had wanted to get out of the office for a long time – and she finally got her wish fulfilled, that’s why I’m training my other colleague) had taken three months (working in the week) before she was confident enough to be in the office alone.

So, yeah, it’s been quite an eye opening experience to train my colleague. And that has occupied my mind for most part of April (as well as one other thing, but I’ll tell you about it later) so I haven’t had any time to write, or even plan. I’ve been so exhausted every evening when I’ve come home that I’ve almost gone to bed immediately. Hopefully, the next weeks are going to be a bit less occupied. I’m still only employed 32 hours per week (yep, overtime -big time- the two last weeks) and I’m hoping they wont increase them.

Scriptfrenzy isn’t going that well for me. Mostly because I can’t concentrate on One Single Story to write. I want to write them all, in one go, and that makes all the stories very spread out and not like I want them. Concentration problems you can call it. I struggle to pick one story and stick with it. At the first moment the story seems to point downwards I get bored and jump to another one. It’s getting so irritating, because that means that I’ll never finish anything. Everything is left hanging in the air. Anyone have any advice how to stop jumping from story to story? Just write exciting parts? Delete all other stories? Anything?


Stories and my brain

I’ve been thinking. A lot. On a particular story, and I’ve been so deeply in the mindset of this story that I didn’t know it changed how I viewed the world. Then, I picked up another, half finished, half planned story on a totally different subject and my mind clashed. My left brain clashed with my right. They melded together (Vulcan mind meld ftw!) and now I’m left in a state of awe.

Simply awe. At life, at humans, at the planet Earth, at the thing we call brain, at everything that I have around me. And I’m sad. Sad because the second story has such a strong sad ending it permeates through to the beginning, even though I haven’t written those tens of thousands of words in between. Sad, yet hopeful and happy. It is such a confusing feeling that I had to share it with the world. Have you ever had this same double-feeling? for no reason at all? Just because of the thoughts you thought?

It’s almost an enlightened feeling. I think. I don’t know if I’m enlightened or not, or even halfway or anything. But I imagine this could be how it feels like.
I had a similar feeling when I had finished the last Harry Potter book. Like I was the light at the end of the tunnel, and at the same time the darkness in the other end, but it didn’t matter, because I simply was, and was feeling great.

And then, as if life wasn’t strange enough, one of my very best friends, (we’ve been “friends” since we could walk, had a sort of fall out a couple of years ago, but everything is forgiven and forgotten now (at least on my part) she sent me this link on my facebook page and wrote that she thought about me and my values when she read said link. It touched me. Deeply. (and added to this strange sort-of-enlightened feeling)

It’s about happiness, simply. Happiness, and what you don’t need. Well, the article’s heading reads “15 things you should give up to be happy” but I’d prefer to angle it as 15 things you’d do better without to be happy. So what are these 15 things you don’t need then? In my words, you don’t need:

  1. To always be right
  2. Control
  3. Blame
  4. Self-defeating self-talk
  5. Limiting beliefs
  6. Complaining
  7. Criticizing
  8. Impress others
  9. Resist change
  10. Labels
  11. Fears
  12. Excuses
  13. The past
  14. Attachments
  15. Other people’s expectations

Looks familiar? I have a bit of a déjà-vu here… To read the article/blogpost for these 15 things click 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy, where the things are explained more in detail. Highly recommend you read it!

Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls

-Joseph Campbell

Effing Easter bunnies, stop eating my words!

This is the third fifth time I try to get anything up on my blog. (so excuse the multiple post spamming) But I JUST CANT SEEM TO SEE MY OWN POSTS! The last one (below) disappeared in a whiff of smoke. No, not even that. It disappeared with a whiff of nothing. Gone. Poof!

Luckily I’m a quick keyboard user and got the brains to click cmd+A and cmd+C (yep, mac user) before it all got wiped away.

So, if you can read the post, good for you. If you can’t, below is the copy-paste of the post named Happy Easter and How to write a novel in 100 days or less. The first version got eaten by the cyber bunnies before the unknowing author realized.

Oh, joy! Oh, rapture!
So, I posted this, and then there’s nothing there! Not a single word of what I had written! I sat here, staring at the screen, wondering which Easter bunny ate all my words… and where did the effing link go? Now I have to go and find it again. So this will be a shorter frustrated post, because of the Easter bunny eating all my words.
1. Happy Easter!
2. I have rye bread, the Finnish version. And I’m so happy. But I only got 10 bread left (20 slices) because someone ate four slices for breakfast this morning. I have to hold back. I want a rye bread right now! But if I eat everything now (yes, I’m very capable of doing that) then I’ll be without rye bread until someone sends me some (or brings me some).

3. The link. Still looking for it. How to write a novel in 100 days or less. There you go.

Go have a look. It basically takes you from the first line to the first draft to the editing process and finally to the query process. And take extra note of what you’re supposed to do on the 101st day…

Now, stop surfing the internet doing “research”, close the facebook tab, and start writing! *kicks self in butt*

Odd days

I got this idea that I should only post on my blog on even days. That way my posts will be more distributed throughout the month, and not clumped together with a long stretch of non-blogging days.
Then I realized that I’d probably not stick to that rule since I write when I want to, and blog whenever I feel like I have something to share. I’ve been trying to make the updates more even, but so far it hasn’t really worked. I still update sporadically. It is also due to the fact that when I work I often don’t have time to blog, or feel like blogging. And I can’t write about work too much because most of what I would write would be personal confidential stuff, and then I’d probably get sacked. So, not much work-talk when I feel like sharing my day. I’m focusing on write-talk, which is hard to do when you’ve been locked inside a dungeon, behind two locked doors for 9 hours (okay, it really isn’t 9 hours, I go outside to have lunch and breaks and so on, but it FEELS like 9 hours!)

I just noticed that it looks weird when I’m writing and discovered I’m writing in HTML mode. Changing to visual and all the line breaks are effed up. >.<

The point of this post is… there’s really no point. Feel free to skip it. It’s just my brains musings when it knows it should be writing on Off-Piste but doing procrastination of third degree. Procrastination – funny word. Procrastination could not be found in my computer’s thesaurus. Maybe there is no other word for it?

I watched The Mist the other day. You know the movie from Stephen King’s book. It felt typically mr King. I’ve read very few of his books, mostly because I’m too chicken-scared to read them. The Langoliers was scary enough, and The Running Man was grotesque enough and the film-adaption of Misery was freaky enough for me to decide to steer clear of mr King. Although I know he is a good writer. The few books I’ve read have been fantastic. It’s just that I’m pretty sure that my imagination will run amok with me if I ever read his books, and then I’ll never sleep again. :S
I didn’t like the end of The Mist movie, it left a bad bad aftertaste, and I’m not sure if I would recommend it to someone. One of my acquaintances told me the book ending is different than the movie ending, so I’ve put the book on my to-read list. I’ve also put The Running Man on my to-read list to read again (because I have a memory of liking it, even though the ending was a bit… eugh…)

Fools day and ten rules for writing fiction

April 1st came and went. I think we were too busy at work to notice it. At least I was busy. Things are going on at work and I’m sort of caught up in the middle of it. Things need to happen, and quick, but there is nobody to set the ball rolling. Or they’re setting the ball rolling veeeeeeeeeeeeeeryyyyyyyyyyy slooooooooooooow…

Things need to be made official, and it’s hard to talk with my colleagues and superiors when I’ve had conversations with the big boss that I didn’t have – one of the quirks of working in a dungeon. I’m so cut off from the rest of the world that a lot of managers see it as THE PLACE to talk confidential-ish stuff… and I’m often there eavesdropping (well, I guess it’s not eavesdropping if they know I’m there.)

So beside work, April is the month of writing frenziedly (if not every month is it.) So head over to scriptfrenzy.org and sign up.

Although it’s called Script Frenzy I’m not writing a script. Been there done that, I didn’t even manage a page before I succumbed to the too detailed writing of the art of novelling. So I decided to decimate April to finishing as many outstanding novels/novellas/short stories as possible. (And I’m pretty sure I mean dedicate, not decimate…)
Because that is my biggest vice when it comes to writing; I start a lot of stories, I plan them, at least I know how they will end – most of them. And then the initial thrill sort of wears off and they strand in the boring middle, unable to reach the waves of the sea.

I realized it’s because the middles are boring. They’re absolutely sagging. So I’m training myself in writing every single chapter as exciting as possible (without destroying the climax of course). Off-Piste is a short story where I’m just training on captivating the reader to read more. It’s about Jess who is learning to ski in the Alps, and she’s not really good at it. In fact she actually sucks at slaloming and usually goes freight train down the slopes – until her gorgeous skiing instructor helps her. (No it’s not sexy or romantic, it’s… sort of funny… I might put it up when I’m done. Might.) I’m going to finish it and then start on finishing Getting Even, because I’m in a good mood and up for pranking characters.

Before I go back to my crazy world of writing (which included a 30 min writing marathon where I managed to pen about 1000 words and then spent the rest of the day looking for old writing desks, portable writing desks and how to make your completely normal monitor a touchscreen monitor. I even found a steampunk touchscreen computer D: me wants!) I want to share something with you. Yep, it’s another link. To get you writing.

Ten rules for writing fiction | Books | guardian.co.uk.
Get an accountant, abstain from sex and similes, cut, rewrite, then cut and rewrite again – if all else fails, pray. Inspired by Elmore Leonard’s 10 Rules of Writing, we asked authors for their personal dos and don’ts

Learn the rules well, and then forget them – Matsuo Basho