is left to that fabulous month, otherwise called November, (Yep, another NaNoWriMo insane freak), and my nerves are almost crackling with anticipation. This year, will be my fifth year, but my third after I proved to myself I can write a complete story.
My first completed story was The Speed of Darkness.
My second complete story was Then Came Mary.
This year, to celebrate that it’s going to be my third completed story (why, yes, I take out victory in advance) and third time is a charm, I’m aiming to finish not one, but two stories. If I do that, then I have told myself that the path will be opened in front of me and I will find the true meaning of my life and the courage to walk down the path of my destiny (i.e. my dream of being a published and read author will come true) so I can’t fail. I have to write two stories in November, otherwise I’m doomed to work in the human treadmill for the rest of my life. And that is not encouraging. I have to succeed! Failure is not an option, I have to and I am quite certain I will succeed. I have even given myself permission as long as the first finished piece is I Called Him Gabriel then I can finish off an already started story (Getting Even) and it will still count as two.
So my nerves are literally crackling with anticipation of November 1st. I want to start now, but I cant. I know that if I do I will most probably feel so bad about it that I will fail on purpose. (I know I have weird thinking, and there is no sense of logic in it, but it works for me (since bribes do not work, I have to threaten myself with failure in life))